- Mike Hoshlyk is a recent parolee from Folsom Prison. He now spends his free time knitting hammocks for his twenty-eight cats.
- Joe Butkus is an emotionally challenged sociopath. He was last seen throwing rocks at a beehive down by the river.
- Dan Mack retired from a ten year career with the carnival side show. He now collects clown statues and empty milk cartons.